«SITTING» («IMAGES»),
2010
To gray before my time.
Of sorrowful thoughts, like these wretched
The pine trees that the storm has crooked,
Destroyed by one winter blizzard,
And to be like that, remembering with sorrow
Of days gone by, and to wear on his forehead
And to wear the wrinkles that the years have not left on his forehead,
But only for a moment, – for a hard moment,
As terrible as eternity! You avalanches!
You blocks of ice! You’ll come upon me!
And devour my life! I hear
Your incessant rumbling, but as you topple over,
You destroy only that which longs for life:
The blooming forest or the peaceful countryside.
Byron’s “Manfred.”
The role of this work inexorably drew me to the biographies of famous people and artists.I was fascinated by music and dance, body and soul, my idols were Byron and Lembruck. Nietzsche and Wagner (“The Flight of the Valkyries”). I idolized Lembrook, copying and appropriating him in my paintings. Byron’s “Cain” and “Manfred” fascinated me with the grandiosity of their ideas, in 2010 I wanted to exhibit and for this I wrote “Sitting” (text I will write later). The exhibition did not take place, but the idea itself touched me very much…
Reflections on destiny filled my soul with pain and shame for myself and others. I felt the need to express this in any way I could, so I began to write this series by reading lines of poetry. My creative process was restless and emotionally intense, I was pouring out my feelings of powerlessness onto a blank canvas. I read more and more Byron, channeling his passion and turbulent energy into my paintings.
Sitting (sketch), hardboard, oil, 47×37cm
#1, canvas, acrylic, 100×80cm
#2, canvas, acrylic, 100×80cm
#3, canvas, acrylic, 100×70cm
#4, canvas, acrylic, 100×70cm
#5, canvas, acrylic, 100×70cm
The clouds crawl at my feet,
Like the foam of the underworld,
From those greedy waves that dig the shore of life,
Burdened with sinful as rubble.
I gasp.”
Byron’s “Manfred.”
Once I started studying the lives of great historical figures, I was enthralled by the possibilities that music and dancing could bring. The works of Byron and Lembrook inspired me deeply. I could not help but attempt to recreate some of their greatness in my own creations, such as the painting Cain and the beloved poem Manfred. I was so determined in my cause that I wrote the piece Sitting in order to showcase my work, even though the exhibition never actually took place.
Manfred
“With a heavy roar the mountains crashed through the clouds, and shook the Alps, And cluttered the green flowered valleys with piles of debris, They dammed the rivers, and crushed their waters into dust and darkness. Why did I not then stand in its valleys?”
Byron “Manfred.”
I was drawn to the idea of a seated, tense abstract figure which sought balance; it was an expressionist and volumetric sculpture reminiscent of Lembrook’s works that inspired me. As I painted I thought of a samurai standing before the choice of life or death and defying death while marching towards his goal, losing himself in the process. With every brush stroke, I invested all of my energy as I sought to truly capture this idea in my painting. With a final glance, I felt satisfied that I had accomplished my mission and created a painting saturated with sentiment and skill.
“Spirit.
Madman! How greedily he clings to the “Spirit!
The madman! How greedily he clings to life, Which has only given him torment!”
Byron “Manfred.
During this time, I envisioned myself a solitary knight galloping through a frozen wasteland. The world around me was eerie and I watched as people search for balance, perched on an edge of a ravine. I recalled the words of Lord Byron in his poem Manfred, ‘Spirit, unutterably vain! How curiously he lingers on, The flattered hope of living on, When life has but a pain!